Honesty With A Loved One

One thing that really helped me in my journey to recovery from Bulimia was openness and honesty.  I believe you must first be hones with yourself about y our challenges and your weaknesses and then be honest with a loved on, or more than one loved one.

One thing that really fuels Bulimia is it’s secrecy.  Most people who are Bulimic suffer silently with it for years before ever opening up to anyone about it.  When I first opened up to my husband about it he had no idea and that is how Bulimia is so destructive, we hide it from the people we love and so it continues it’s hold on you.

You must start now to be honest, really honest with yourself about where you are at with Bulimia, do you do it a few times a week, or a few times a day.  Next you must open up to someone that has your best interest at mind, someone who is safe to talk to.  My husband and my mother were those people for me and still are today.  I know I can tell them anything, I could tell them anytime I was starting to suffering the emotions that lead me to Binging and Purging.  And every time I opened up to them the feelings began to subside, there was no longer anything to hide in that moment and the clutching feelings came to a halt.

Think about the people in your lives…  who do you know that you can communicate with and share openly with?  Even if you are scared to open up, scared of what they might think, remember a life in the dark, a life hiding, is not the life that you deserve.  You deserve so much more and you can have it, you can over come this but don’t do it alone, as humans we are meant to share, to love, to communicate, not to hide in silance.

Love,

Guru Shakti

What Image Are You Trying To Protect?

Behind Bulimia there is always something you are trying to protect, an image of yourself that you are holding onto.  When we begin to look within you can begin to see the image that you are grasping to.

For me, I had this image of the perfect woman, a woman who is calm, doesn’t lose her temper, keeps the house clean, is in good shape, up lifts everyone, and so on.  The list was an image I had created in my mind, a image of the woman I thought I had to be.  It’s wonderful to have ideas of who you want to be and use those images to grow forward in your life, but it’s not ok to have an image that is impossible to live up to.  For many of us we have these images that are impossible to to meet up to so we feel failures, we feel shame, and many other emotions.  These feelings are what lead us to binging and purging.

It is so important for you to re define yourself.  To be honest this is something to be excited about.  You can actually re create your image.  What I had to do and what I still do to this day is imagine what my image is right now.  Am I setting myself up for failure or do I have a image that make is easy to sucseed?

I decided that Guru Shakti is who ever Guru Shakti wants to be this day.  That means each day I can be who I want to be, I don’t have to stick to one role, and one way of being.

That might be what you will have to do too.  Try saying this to yourself each day but with your name of course.

Who is Guru Shakti?  Guru Shakti is who Guru Shakti wants to be today.

Just by saying that, don’t you feel free to be you?  Know that you don’t have to hold onto an image that does not serve you anymore.

Courage From Your Core!

When you hear the word Courage, what does it mean to you?  What does it mean to be a courageous person?  Perhaps it’s someone who takes charge, takes action, and moves forward no matter what gets in the way.

Those things are all true but what does the word Courage really mean?  The word courage is derived from the Latin Language, the word means core.  And what is your core, it’s your heart.  So courage means to live from your core, “your heart.”

To have courage in your life means you decide to move forward and grow in your life.  This doesn’t mean things won’t get in your way, or should I say try to get in your way.  Of course you will have challenges, in fact the more courage you have, and the more you grow in life, the more resistance you will feel.  But having courage means you do it anyways, and your begin to expand and grow as a person.

My great teacher Guru Singh says, “You can tell your strength by the strength of your opposition.”

Taking steps to recover from Bulimia takes courage.  For me it took courage to know I could do this, to know I was done with that, and to start taking step in the direction I wanted to be in life.

How could you be courageous in your life today?  What small step could you take in recreating your image of you?  Take some time to think about that, what would your life look like if you started to be courageous?  In fact just by you reading this you are already using your courage, you are starting to live from your core, your heart.

Is Bulimia A Disease?

I’ve read many books and many articles on the subject of Bulimia.  I see a common idea that Bulimia is a disease.  True Bulimia causes Dis-ease when you do this to your body, but I have to disagree about it being a true disease.  In my opinion, when we call Bulimia a disease we are saying that it is something that we caught or something like Cancer in the body.  In fact Bulimia is a habit, it’s habit that is done to feel in control and to stop the painful feelings you are experiencing.  Yes you feel in control, you feel a sense of connection and certainty in yourself but it’s actually very disruptive in your body, mind, and spirit.

For me it was a habit used as a personal punishment.  If I felt shameful or like a failure I would turn to binging and purging.  This was not a disease in my body, this was a habit that I continued doing and needed to let go of.

For those of you who think Bulimia is a disease, try to think of this as a habit.  It’s just apart of you that needed something to cope and you can make a better choice.  There are other ways of getting through challenges and painful feelings that won’t disrupt you in so many ways.

Many Blessings,

Guru Shakti

Done Forever!

As I sit here and think about bulimia, what it means, why we do it, what makes us keep going, and how do we stop, one thing comes to mind.  I truly believe that recovery comes when you get to that point of no return, it’s that point where you just know with your whole heart that you can not go back to it.

Perhaps it’s different for other people who have recovered from Bulimia, for me it was just like this.  I finally understood I was not bad for doing what I was doing, but it was time to change my reaction to challanges in my life.  I had to choose healthier ways of responding and stop punishing myself with binging and purging.

That is a power each one of us has in us right now.  You have the ability to over ride your need to binge and purge, even if you do it many times a day and you feel out of control with it, you can stop now, you can turn it all around.  It’s just like smokers who have smokes for decades, they even tried quitting many times, then they finally get to that point of enough is enough and stop cold turkey.  That is how it must be done, cold turkey.

Go look in the mirror and try saying, “I am not a bad person for doing this, I am a beautiful part of the world, and I am equal to the task of recovery, and I’m done forever.”

A very important part in healing from bulimia, you must be aware of your triggers.  You need to begin to witness what is happening just before you go into that space of wanting to binge and purge.  By seeing your triggers you can begin to stop doing those things or make the needed changes.

Here’s some of my trigger’s so you can understand what I mean.  When I drank this healthy energy drink called FRS, I would begin to feel anxious and most likely end up binging and purging.  There was something in that drink that caused that part of my brain to trigger and I would end up feeling pulled into that direction.  So I stopped drinking it and began to drink Green Tea which made me feel just fine.

Another trigger was a feeling of shame that would come up for me when I lost my temper.  Being a woman that wants to teach other women I had this un realistic view of myself.  I was under the impression that I should be this calm and centered Guru all the time.  Well that is funny because it’s humanly impossible to be that way all the time, boy was I setting myself up for failure.  Once I realized that getting mad is not wrong, and I allowed myself to embrace that part of my life, I didn’t feel shame or the need to binge and purge just because I got upset with my kids.  I’m human, I’m a women, you are human, you are a women, and we are allowed to get pissed off sometimes.

I had a few other triggers that I was able to see and make the changes.  In fact do this along with me.  LETS KEEP A JOURNAL OF OUR TRIGGERS!  Let’s make notes each day of what we see in ourselves, what happened that day, how did you respond.  Keeping not of what happens with you can really help your awareness, and don’t forget to be totally honest with yourself, no sugar coating it.  If we want to change we must be honest about it, there is not shame to be had.

Love you,

Siri Shakti

A New Day Begins!

There was a point when I knew I have had enough.  I was willing to seek out help and really make the the shift once and for all.  This morning as I woke to do my morning Yoga the house was so quiet.  With three kids in the house all the time I can tell you the house is very rarely quiet.  Ahh it was so nice!  As I moved through the yoga poses I felt this strong feeling.  This feeling was a gratefulness that a chapter of my life had ended, I’m referring to the chapter with bulimia, and a new chapter was now being full filled.  In this chapter I was ready to help other women with bulimia.

For those that recover from bulimia I truly believe we all got to that point of enough is enough.  All the torment and pain only got worse after turning to binging and purging, and you know there must be another way.  But that feeling of enough is enough is not enough to stop most of us.  What really helped me was seeking out someone who knew how to assist me in making the change.  There are people who have dedicated their lives to helping others in challenging areas of life, such as councilors.  For me it was my good friend and spiritual teacher Guru Singh.  He helped me understand that I was not BAD because I was doing this.  He helped me see my challenge with bulimia in a new way, and that is what I will help all of you with here in this blog.  When we can change the way we view something in our life it totally changes.  By me not looking at myself as a bad person for struggling with bulimia I was able to have compassion for myself.  It takes the negative power away from it.

Understand you are not BAD, you are not GROSS, you are a beautiful and wonderful part of this world, and you are meant to pass through this so you can help other girls that live 200 years from now, who will need to know the art and science of overcoming bulimia.  When you look at the big picture it is pretty amazing.  We can turn our struggle into something that helps others in their struggles.

This is step #1 to remember how special you are, and to know you are not bad.

With Love And Grace,

Guru Shakti

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